Remembering Vinnie

Monday, August 9, 2010
Yesterday was the worst day of my life. It's so hard to let go. My brother was such a wonderful person with the biggest heart. He was such a giving person and had so much love that he was a registered organ donor. My brother now will help save other lives with his kidneys, liver, heart valves, eyes, bones and skin. What a self-less act. But that's my brother. Always thinking about others and never himself. I feel so privileged to be his sister. Anyone who knows him, knows what an awesome person he was.

My Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jeb did make it here yesterday morning in time to see him. Since he was donating his organs, the transplant team actually had to take him to their facility. So they waited to for us to have our time with him before taking him. When all the family was there, we gathered around Vince's bed, held hands and said a prayer. We all signed balloons that had been given to my brother. So when it was time, we walked out of the hospital together, as a family, sang the song, "I can only imagine" by Mercy Me, (I have this video on my blog already from an earlier post if you want to hear it.) and then let the balloons go. It was a very nice way to have closure and say good-bye.

It's just really hard to believe he is really gone. It just doesn't seem possible. I know he is resting in Jesus. The next thing he will know is that he will wake up and see Jesus' face. We will be reunited in the clouds of glory, surrounded by the angels singing Hallijuah, Glory to God in the Highest!

It's been a long day, one of the most emotional days of my life. I don't even know where to begin. Just when we thought things were going so well....
Vince had a CAT scan done today and the results are not what we were expecting to hear. He has extensive damage to his brain due to the lack of oxygen and blood when he first collapsed. The damage is causing swelling on the brain and there is nothing they can do to relieve it. His EEG test did not show positive results. The neurosurgeon said that this is one of the worst CAT scans he has ever seen. There is basically nothing they can do for him.
That is definitely not what we wanted to hear! NO NO NO!!!!!
It's been really hard to accept this news. It's really hard to believe when all of his other signs are so positive. I know God is in control but ya know, sometimes it's just so hard to give up our own control. I have to keep the faith.

We are keeping him as he is right now on the ventilator, waiting for the rest of our family to get here. My grandparents arrived tonight. My brother Phil and Randy will be here tomorrow. My Aunt Deb and Abbey are on their way as well.

I will praise You in this storm, oh Lord. I lift my eyes to you, the maker of heaven and earth! You the God of Gods, Lord of Lords and King of Kings. You are my strength, my rock and fortress.

Please continue to pray for my brother and family. It's in God's hands now and we just have to trust Him. This is not an easy task to do.

I have so many great memories of my brother. Growing up Vince was the mean one. He was always hitting or pinching me. But that's what big brothers are for right. I remember one time we were at Burger King. I was probably about 5 years old and Vinnie was 13 or so. I sat down to eat my happy meal. I was sitting there eating my fries first before I ate my cheeseburger. Along comes Vinnie. "Are you going to eat that?" pointing at my cheeseburger. "Yay, when I'm done with my fries." The next thing I knew my cheeseburger was gone. He ate my cheeseburger!!! I couldn't believe he did that! My dad had to get me another one. Thus, learned to eat fast, otherwise my food would be gone.

I'm trying to keep this as updated as possible. Just be patient that it might be until the end of the day. If I haven't called you, please don't be offended. I just can't handle crying every time I talk to someone. It's starting to take it's toll on me. I love you all so much. I really appreciate your love and support. We feel your prayers and your love. Thank you so much.

God is Good All the Time

I am sitting in the ICU at Barnes-Jewish St. Peters hospital in St. Louis, MO. My brother Vince had a massive heart attack on Tuesday. God is always in control, He holds our hands and wraps in loving arms around us. It is truly a miracle that my brother is alive right now. We are very positive that he is going to come out of this. Right now we are waiting for him to wake up. They are supposed to start weaning him off the sedatives slowly today and see how he responds. He has opened his eyes twice now, which is a good sign, and has been making facial gestures when the nurse does something to him that he doesn't like. My mom, sister and my brother Nick are here. I'm going to kick my brother's butt when he wakes up. If he wanted a family reunion, he just should have said so!!!

So let me back up a little bit and start from the beginning. On Tuesday I am on my way to pick up Rayna from summer camp and I get a call from Babs, my sister-in-law, saying I need to call my mom and grandma right away that Vince was in the hospital. I could barely understand her. A nurse got on the phone and explained to me what was going on. My brother had collapsed after working outside and they were administrating CPR. At that point it was really touch and go as they couldn't get him stabilized and nobody knew what was going on. They were finally able to stabilize him and found out that he had a massive heart attack with his left descending aorta 90% blocked. This is the main artery that pumps the blood to your whole body. They were able to immediately get him into surgery to put the stint in. That they were able to do that so quickly is just one of the many miracles that have happened to my brother.

He came out of surgery and they put him in an induced coma so he can rest and heal. That is basically where we are at right now. We are waiting for him to wake up as they are now slowing reducing his sedatives.

God has truly been with my brother every step of the way. He placed all the right people in his path to come out of this and make a full recovery. Vince was working at a client's house staining the deck and Babs was helping him. They came inside to take a break and Vince was saying that he wasn't feeling well. The client's daughter and her boyfriend were also at the house at the time. Babs went to go get the paint brushes as Vince was worried about them drying out. That was when he collapsed. The daughter called 911 and the boyfriend immediately started CPR. It just so happened that this guy is training to be a paramedic. The ambulance arrived within 3 minutes. They worked on stabilizing him for 45 minutes at the house before they could get him in the ambulance. I believe that if God had not placed this people in my brother's path that day, he would not be with us today, fighting to come back to us.

Now that the stint is in, his heart is doing really good. All of his vital signs are good. His blood gases are good, his blood pressure is stable. His body is responding as it should be. He looks good, his color is good and a lot of the swelling in his arms and face has gone down. I am just glad I can be here. I flew out Tuesday night. I did get some sleep last night. I'm just trying to make sure Babs gets some rest.

Please continue to pray that God can give him the strength to wake up and come back to us. Pray for Babs and the kids, Madison and Brendon.
I will try and keep you updated.